Panic Attacks, Wetsuits and Weight Gain…NOT What I Expected from a Triathlon! (part two)

In part one of this post I explained how my midlife experiment of running led me to sign up for a triathlon. My midlife experiment was about to become a lot more interesting.

The type of triathlon I signed up for was a “sprint” triathlon which means the race would consist of a 500 meter swim, a 20K bike ride and a 5K run. I talked to everyone I knew who had done a triathlon and collected training tips. I’m not a strong swimmer so the first thing I did was begin taking lessons. I also got up at 5 am two days a week for open water swimming and brick training. 

Despite my realization that running wasn’t hard, I’m sorry to say I did not have that same experience with swimming. My problem was that I was always very out of breath, and I hated feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I had so much to learn: how to pace myself, exert less energy, and breathe correctly, not to mention the proper form for arms, legs, head, etc. A few weeks into my lessons I had a panic attack in the pool. I had just finished swimming four laps in a row and had stopped to stand in the pool to take a break. That’s when it hit me. I wasn’t afraid – I just couldn’t breathe. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before and frankly, it freaked me out a bit. It was bad enough that I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I really didn’t need this panic issue on top of things. I worried that it would happen again and, worse yet, that it would become a habit.

Over time, I improved in the pool – largely by taking advice from all my fitness expert friends and colleagues (you know who you are and thank you)! I slowed down, I barely used my legs, I practiced breathing properly. I got to the point where I could swim in the pool for 35 minutes without stopping. That gave me some confidence because I was estimating that the 500 meter swim would take me about 15 minutes to complete.

However, open water swimming is quite different from swimming in a pool! Lake Michigan was cold and choppy, and I had a hard time sighting and swimming straight so I had to stop every few strokes. The weather was particularly stormy that summer so my open water swim class was frequently cancelled. This was both a relief and a disappointment because I dreaded the early morning open water but knew I needed the instruction and practice. As much as I hated the swimming, I worried all summer that the swim portion of the race would be cancelled on race day due to crummy weather. My entire triathlon experience was a constant reminder that there are so many things beyond my control! (I think this is why triathletes and trainers are so incredibly laid back – they have learned this and let it go). But as much as I hated the swim, I wanted to do it and complete the entire event!

Too windy and choppy for class on this day!

Swimming in Lake Afterglow on vacation – much calmer and warmer than Lake Michigan!

On top of learning about the physical requirements of a triathlon, I learned about the special gear “requirements” as well. I hadn’t realized the extent of the extra gear (and extra costs) involved: wetsuits, tri-suits, tire changing kits and many other items I never even knew existed. Due to the cold lake temps, a wetsuit was necessary. I borrowed a scuba suit from my brother-in-law because I hadn’t yet accepted the fact that I was going to need to invest in a real wetsuit which came with a sticker price of $400. At least the scuba suit had long arms and sleeves which was much better than the “shortie” I found before I discovered what a real wetsuit was. And before I learned which was the front and which was the back…..

During my third open water swim class I had another panic attack. We were swimming from buoy to buoy and had paused to take a break and talk, but I wasn’t able to touch the bottom as I had expected. Again, I couldn’t breathe. Instinctively I laid on my back and kicked toward the shore until I could stand and catch my breath. I was not happy. Maybe this triathlon thing wasn’t for me after all. Some friends and family wondered if I should throw in the towel. But I knew that I was still learning what it would take to complete a triathlon and I didn’t have all the information yet to determine if I felt confident in achieving this goal. I’m not a stubborn person so I wasn’t going to just do it (and wing it) unless I felt prepared. I just needed more information.

After my open water panic attack I learned why I needed to get a real wetsuit. My instructor explained to me that not only does it help insulate you against the cold water, it provides some buoyancy – like a life jacket. Woah!! I went straight home and ordered one online. Fortunately, I was able to receive a nice discount through the training program I was enrolled in and didn’t have to shell out $400 for something I didn’t even know if I would ever use again. I was very hopeful that this would be just what I needed to get over that hurdle and improve my swimming ability and confidence!

By the way, when I started telling others about my panic attacks, I was shocked at how many people said they had also had panic attacks during open water swim. If I had a dollar for every person who told me this I could have paid for my wetsuit entirely. Surely that was confirmation that this goal was a little bit extreme! I continued to work on slowing down, breathing better and exerting less energy and I’m happy to say that I never had another panic attack.

In addition to the swimming, I continued running and also started doing some biking with my husband (who was also signed up for the triathlon). He decided to get a new bike for the race (lucky him) and let me have his old Zeus (lucky me) which meant I didn’t have to use my heavier hybrid bike. I had sticker shock at some of the bikes and options! I decided against the special shoes and clips – i didn’t think I needed all that extra stuff to achieve my goal of completing a triathlon. I had already invested in the wet suit. This was getting to be very expensive and way more complicated than I had imagined it would be! I longed for good old fashioned exercise – simple and affordable!

Eventually, I got to a point in my training where I was gaining confidence that I could complete the triathlon. I did a couple of practice days where I swam, biked and ran. One of these practice days was with my daughter in her first 5K race.

My son was telling us to run faster!

I was hoping with all this training I would lose some weight, but unfortunately, I gained weight! After longer and more intense workouts I started feeling very depleted and hungry. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I wasn’t refueling properly which most likely led to me overeating later in the day. Check out this great resource by dietitian friend and colleague, Penny Wilson, if you want to avoid this problem! People would tell me that I was gaining muscle, but I surely hadn’t gained TEN POUNDS of muscle. I suppose the weight gain could also be due to the fact that I’m reaching that age where the metabolism starts taking a nose dive. And since swimming, running and biking had taken the place of weight lifting which had always been my most effective weight management tool, I thought that could be contributing to weight gain as well. Regardless of the cause, the extra pounds were there and I would have to deal with them after the triathlon was over (stay tuned for that journey).

By two weeks out from race day I felt ready. Well, as ready as I was going to be. I had been training for about 5 months and I just wanted the big day to be here and done. I was reminded once again that so much is beyond my control when, a few days before the race, I came down with a pretty nasty chest cold. I hadn’t planned on that! But, still, my biggest fear was that they would cancel the swim portion and I would have to do this whole triathlon thing again some other time.

The day before the race my husband and I went to the site and learned all about the staging area and transitions. Lake Michigan was 48 degrees and pretty choppy. We hoped it would calm down and warm up because anything below 51 degrees meant that the swim would be cancelled per USAT recommendations.

I went to bed that night feeling like I do before a TV segment. All the grueling prep work was done – let’s get the show on the road!

Stay tuned for the third (and final) part of this post where I share race day details and strangely, how this experience led me back to ballet. Life sure is full of surprises!

To check out other posts on my “Food for Thought” blog, click here.